For most of my life, I was content to stay out of the limelight. I liked being second in command because it gave me authority and independence without having to stand up and shine my light – because I’ve always been uncomfortable shining my light. Instead, I was willing to settle for less in order to stay in my comfort zone.
My mother pushed me to play the piano from an early age so I started taking lessons when I was in the second grade. What I didn’t realize is that instead of just playing for myself and my parents, I would have to take center stage at piano recitals throughout grade school.
I was terrified of playing in front of all these people, and it was mostly because I was afraid of making a fool of myself if I made a mistake. For some reason I took on perfectionistic tendencies at a young age, so making a mistake when playing a complicated piece of music made me feel shame and not worthy enough to be on stage. From then on, I shied away from the limelight.
Transformation #1: From Thin to Fat
In high school, I had a lot of friends, made decent grades, and for the most part it was a good experience. But the drinking age was only 18 then, so it was very easy for teenagers to get alcohol. So throughout high school, my friends and I would go to football or basketball games and then go to the dance afterward. But between the game and the dance, we drank beer or Boones Farm wine. And after the dance we went out for pizza! Within about a year, my slim childhood body was packing on weight.
By the time I graduated from high school I didn’t recognize myself. I felt fat but didn’t know how to lose the weight. Of course I knew what was causing the weight gain, but that was the culture I was living in at the time, so how do I keep my friends but stop the drinking and late-night eating?
You can see from the photo below, I was thin during my Freshman year. By the time I graduated I packed on a lot of pounds – it even shows on my face. And the problem got worse after high school.
This is where settling for less entered my life. Because I was getting fat I didn’t feel pretty. And I still hung around with friends who hadn’t gained the weight I did, and they seemed to always have boyfriends. I had a couple of short relationships in high school and shortly after high school, but they never lasted very long. There was always a prettier, skinnier, and more interesting girl they left me for.
My self-esteem was plummeting. And to top it off, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. So I went to school for a while, trying to figure out what kind of career I wanted to have. Unfortunately, I ended up in retail management, which is a low-paying industry, even at the management levels.
Transformation #2: From Fat to Thin
At 24 years old, I moved back to my hometown of La Crosse after spending a couple of years in Eau Claire. Tired of the same lifestyle, I vowed to stop the drinking and unhealthy eating. But it was hard because my old friends were still hanging out in the bars. One night, my oldest friend introduced me to a guy sitting at the bar. His name was Steve. He was super cute, with gorgeous blond hair. We talked briefly, but then I left because I couldn’t imagine he’d go for a girl that looked like me.
Besides my weight, I struggled with my hair. I had thin, flat hair at a time when big poofy hair-dos were all the rage. So I got perms in my hair for years, but my hair just looked frizzy and I had no idea what to do with it. Score another point for low self-esteem.
Back to Steve. For some reason, unknown to me, he seemed to like me because he asked me out on a date! And from that night on, we became boyfriend and girlfriend – even though I had no idea why he was attracted to me.
One thing Steve and I had in common was that we both wanted to get out of the bar scene. So together we started an exercise program and we changed our diet – and we stopped going to bars. Within a couple months I had lost 10 pounds and for the first time in several years I dropped below 150 pounds. I was ecstatic! It gave me the incentive I needed to keep going. And by summer I was down to 125 pounds! I hadn’t been this thin since I started high school.
Three years later, Steve and I married.
In the photos below you can see how I looked at my sister’s wedding where I weighed about 160 pounds. On my wedding day, I weighed 127 pounds. You can see I still hadn’t figured out the hair yet – it was still thin and frizzy.
Transformation #3: Careers
Steve and I ended up living in Boise, Idaho for the first 15 years of our marriage. I worked as a retail manager while he started his first cleaning company. For the first 7 years I worked with him part-time, doing the books and a little bit of cleaning on the side, while I continued at my job.
During those years I began to hate my job. I was tired of making thousands less than my male counterparts and working nights and weekends and ridiculously long hours, especially during the holidays. I grew to hate Christmas because I was lucky if I could have one day off just to spend with Steve. Plus I grew to hate the work.
Once again, I found myself wondering what to do with my career. Going into the cleaning business full time didn’t appeal to me, plus I was concerned about how it would affect our marriage. And during these 7 years, we were trying to get pregnant – without success.
My purpose in life came into question. Nothing in my life was lining up the way I thought it would. I couldn’t figure out a career that would bring me excitement and joy, and I couldn’t get pregnant.
Marriage, motherhood, and career. I loved my husband, but like most women, I assumed becoming a mother would become part of my purpose. My life felt so incomplete without children and a career that I loved.
I had to move on so I made a decision. We would keep trying to get pregnant and I would quit my job and work full-time with Steve in the cleaning business. While we were never able to have children, we did find success with our cleaning company.
After 15 years in Boise, we decided to sell the business and move closer to family. We settled in Brainerd, Minnesota because we saw an opportunity to build another cleaning company. And while I was still involved, I found more help so I could pursue my own dream of starting a Virtual Assistant company.
The cleaning business was always Steve’s dream and I was happy to continue playing that “second in command” role I mentioned earlier. But I needed something just for me. And I needed to prove to myself that I could make a success of something all on my own. And although I found clients quickly and enjoyed the work for a few years, it didn’t grow into a huge financial success and I soon found myself getting bored. That is when the idea of helping other cleaning business owners came to fruition.
Steve quickly grew the second cleaning company and within a few short years we were outpacing the growth of our first company. The internet was really taking off and I had learned a lot about online marketing during my virtual assistant years, so our idea of creating a membership website with all sorts of content, tools, and training resources quickly took off. So much so, that we eventually decided to sell our second cleaning company and devote ourselves full time to this business.
Transformation #4: Searching for Purpose
I really enjoy the freedom of having a virtual business. It enables Steve and I to travel to many places around the country for business, while squeezing in personal time to explore these new cities. In 2013 I decided to start a marketing agency to help boost our service offerings. Over the next few years, I grew this side of the business and began to build a wonderful team to take care of marketing strategies for our clients.
But even though I love our businesses and the success we’ve enjoyed, there was still this feeling that I wasn’t fully in alignment with my true life purpose. I knew my purpose involved using my experience to help and teach others, which I was doing in our businesses. So what could be missing?
I felt in my heart that I needed to go within to figure out this puzzle. So in 2015 I decided to explore my spirituality. This journey would eventually lead me to finding the missing piece of my life purpose.
I spent the next 4 years working with a spiritual advisor and reading all sorts of Spiritual topics including life after death, reincarnation, quantum physics, energy healing, and more.
In 2019 I turned 60 years old. Suddenly I felt really old. I was feeling as if life was passing me by, and much too quickly. My Spiritual work did a lot for my self-esteem and I wasn’t worrying nearly as much as I used to about things like money and success. But something was still missing. I didn’t feel as if I was living up to my true potential. I knew I was making a difference in people’s lives through our businesses, but it didn’t feel like it was enough. It didn’t feed my soul.
Transformation #5: Finding My True Purpose
August of 2019 forever changed my life. What began as a curiosity about how to use a pendulum to connect to my higher guidance, turned into discovery of my true purpose.
Not only was I able to connect to my own Higher Guidance, I found I could connect to my Spirit Team, family members who had crossed over, and even my 4 dogs who had crossed over! So not only was I coming into alignment with connecting to my own guidance, I learned I could connect to other people’s Higher Guidance as well.
This discovery compelled me to sign up for the Higher Guidance Life Coaching Certification program so I could work with people who need direction in their life. Ultimately, I was searching for a way I could give back to others in a more meaningful way. In a way that would change their life as it has changed mine.
Now when I work with clients on connecting to their higher guidance, I feel inspired, I feel joy, and I feel as if I’m making a difference in the world. I’ve learned to “shine my light” in a way I’d never done before. And I believe you can shine your light too. It’s not easy, but nothing in life that’s worthwhile ever is. But when you know in your heart you’ve finally found your true purpose, it is well worth the struggle to get there.
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